Relationships are the currency of the kingdom.Human beings were created for fulfilling relationships with each other and with God. Relationships can greatly influence many aspects of our lives – even our destiny. I want to go deeper into how relationships can create wrongful control of our soul that become ungodly. I am going to show you how to receive deliverance from ungodly relationships through Jesus Christ.
“When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren. So Leah conceived and bore a son and she called his name Reuben; for she said ‘The Lord has surely looked on my affliction. Now, therefore, my husband will love me.’ Then she conceived again and bore a son, and said ‘Because the Lord has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also, and she called his name Simeon.’ She conceived again and bore a son and said ‘Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have bore him three sons.’ Therefore, his name was called Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son and said ‘Now, I will praise the Lord.’ Therefore, she called his name Judah. Then she stopped bearing.”
Genesis 29:31-35 (NKJV)
Life is relational. We are created for connection.A “soul-tie” is a cleaving together of two souls. It is a relationship whereby two souls are “joined” or “knitted together,” and in a sense become as one. Leah’s point of vulnerability is that her father did not value her, but used her for his own personal gain. Her father deceived Jacob into marrying her when the agreement was for Jacob to marry Rachel. Leah finds herself roped into a relationship where again, she was not valued, appreciated or desired. This is Leah’s point of vulnerability and what left her ripe for idolatry.
For the struggle to cease and cycles to be broken, it is vital to recall the inconsistent messages of your childhood. God intended the spirit-man to have dominion and to rule over the natural or carnal man. The dysfunctional soul is carnal. The Word refers to carnality as everything in man that is NOT under the control or dominion of the Holy Spirit, via your own yielded spirit.
To change your life, you must change the message! In order to change the message playing in your unconscious mind like a bad tape, you must be aware of what it's saying.The knowledge of how your current patterns were formed will help give you the tools to release you from self-critical indictments that create sick cycles and soul-ties that are ungodly.
Here are some of the major messages (false labels) that a child is sent while living in a dysfunctional family:
‘I love you, go away.’
Sometimes the parent was warm and loving, at other times they were hostile and rejecting. There was no consistency, and no predicting which “side” of the parent you were going to see. This is especially common in children of alcoholics.
This pattern, if experienced in your youth, is what may lead you to be attracted to a person who is loving and warming one moment, then hostile and rejecting the next. You play your childhood over again because the only consistency you know is inconsistency.
“You can’t do anything right, but I need you.”
You could never meet the standards of perfection created for you no matter how hard you tried. You were expected to be an adult, but you were treated as less than a child. Your parent relied on you for things they should have asked for from another adult or God Himself, or they gave you inappropriate levels of power or responsibility for your age.
This gave you inappropriate ideas of cause and effect. You truly believed that everything that went wrong was your fault, yet you knew you were needed by the very one you felt inadequate towards. You felt significant role reversal – as if you were the parent, and they were the child.
Because of this, you struggle now with inappropriate feelings of guilt. You struggle to “fix” things even when they are not broken. You may find yourself drawn to partners who are extremely dependent and highly critical. You may be drawn to those who repeatedly put you down, although you know they cannot get along without you.
“I’ll be there for you, next time. I give you my word.”
You learn how not to want so that you do not get disappointed. This can cause you to be tired and resentful, feeling as though you carry everything important in the relationship. Your fear of asking for something and not getting it is as unsettling as your fear of asking and actually receiving it.
The first fear of not getting reinforces that you are unworthy. The second fear is so unfamiliar you actually don’t know how to react. Even a simple compliment makes you uncomfortable. You will only be happy with the fantasy of a hero who already knows how to please you without you communicating.
These were only a few of the major messages (false labels) that a child is sent while living in a dysfunctional family. The danger of these messages is that these messages create myths in a child’s mind, instead of a solid foundation of truths.
The myths then lead a person to relationships that are unfulfilling. These myths lead from the Fruits of the Spirit to the fears of the enemy. Worst of all, these myths lead to the altar of idols.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
John 14:6 KJV
When Jesus spoke of Himself as “the truth,” the Greek word used here literally means “reality.” He was saying, I am the REALITY. His WORD (which He is) is the REALITY.
Your first objective is to take a good hard look at these myths and then get REALITY!The Bible clearly says, “When the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb.” It was God that saw her heartbreaking. It was God that heard her cries. It was God that saw her wounded and weak. God is the one that opened Leah’s womb, not Jacob.
Winning Jacobs love will always be an area of vulnerability for her. She will always carry that struggle, but can she confront her Jacob? The Bible says, “And she conceived again and bore a son and she said, “Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah and left bearing.”
Judah means praise. You cannot praise or honor God for what he has given you until you have been weaned from the idols of your past! You must tear down your idols and worship the One True God who has opened your womb to produce fruit!
Say this prayer with me now:
“Father God, I come to you now with repentance on my lips and in my heart. Please turn my heart away from any idols in my life and turn it towards you. You are the fountain from which all blessings flow and I will praise you, Elohim, as long as I shall live. You are the one true God. You are my deliverer and the opener of my womb. You have healed my barrenness by revealing your Son and your Spirit without which I would be lost in darkness. I pray against any attack of the enemy on my mind. May the works of Satan in my life be destroyed by fire. Seal any crack or crevice that gives the enemy entrance to my mind, will or emotions. Use my hands to glorify you and destroy the works of the enemy through your Son, Jesus Christ. Remove anything and anyone from my life that does not align with your divine will for my life and my destiny in you. Grant me the discernment to identify and remove idols from my life. I praise you and thank you for my deliverance. I will glorify you all the days of my life. In the name of Yeshua. Amen.”
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