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Key 3: Don't Fear Criticism | Nine Keys to Healthy Relationships

So what happens when we start to deal with these unhealthy relationships that don’t bring us into the purpose God has for us? 

When you begin to grow and mature and get away from the unhealthy relationships, you better become comfortable with criticism. Why? Because not everybody is going to be happy about your decision. You cannot please all people all the time. And people are going to make fun of you.

To break away from unhealthy relationships, you need to be comfortable in your own skin and confident enough to know who you are and the God whom you serve. Some people are going to look you in the eye and say, “Oh, so you think you’re better than us now? You’re Miss Righteous, aren’t you.” There are people who are going to try to pull you back. The loss of whatever you’ve been giving these people is going to make them upset.

When you begin to walk away from unhealthy relationships, people who have controlled you, manipulated you, used you, abused you, and know how to pull all the strings that keep you in that unhealthy relationship are going to increase the pressure. They won’t give up without a fight. And when they see you becoming whole and healthy, it becomes a mirror reflection of their sickness and their dysfunction, which will make them angry.
You will need to be rock solid in your conviction that you deserve better because God has shown you better. 
When you know better in your heart, you do better. And so you can say, “I love you, but I can’t live with you this way. I love you, but I can’t compromise my character for anybody. I like you, but I’m not going to forfeit my destiny. So I’m going to let God deal with you as God is dealing with me, and you can call me whatever you want. Do whatever you want to do. Say whatever you want to say. I really don’t care. I’m going to love you. I’m not going to retaliate, because I am trusting God to take care of me as well as you.”

Here’s a visual of what you’ll face. If you’ve ever seen a pot of live crabs, you know that when one crab starts trying to climb out of the pot, the other crabs try to latch hold of it and pull it back down. As you are getting healthy and pulling yourself out of the pot, most of the people in your life are not going to say, “Here’s my hand, help me out, too.” No, most of them are going to grab you by your foot and try to yank you back down. You have to have the utter conviction that you are going where God tells you to go. You’re going to do what God says you can do. You’re going to have what God says you can have.

Trust God to give you the courage to end the relationship, and then trust Him to give you broad shoulders and thick enough skin to take the criticism you may face for ending the relationship.

Adapted from Paula White-Cain's best selling book "I Don't Get Wholeness...That's the Problem!"
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Send it to her at https://paulawhite.org/prayer


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