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“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” Gen 2:21-25 KJV

Did you know that God first appeared on the scene of human history in the role of a matchmaker? 

What a profound and exciting revelation! We’re thinking about relationships right now and I believe that God has wisdom and revelation in His Word that He wants to download into your heart, your family, and all of your relationships so that His plan can come to pass in your life. 

Marriage is a very special and sacred institution to God. God created marriage so that the family could springboard from the fountain of the marriage relationship. Because God created and intended all of these things before we entered the world, we look around and find that life is relational. Life is impacted by those to whom we are connected. The goal in marriage is more than friendship. The goal of marriage, among many other things, is establishing a oneness for the purpose of God. The person you marry should be able to help carry your purpose. This means they are supportive in every way for your supreme reason for being. They are all about your “why” in life, and you are all about theirs. 

Marriage is a co-commitment to the purposes of Jesus Christ. I call a co-committed relationship one where two people support each other in being whole and complete individuals. This takes unconditional love and acceptance. Unconditional love and acceptance are divine gifts from a holy God. For the most part, human flesh by itself does not possess the entire capacity for unconditional love and acceptance. You can’t give to others in relationship what you don’t already have for yourself. You must know the love of God personally in order to love others fully!

“May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love,

That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God’s devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it];

[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!” Eph 3:17-19 AMP


Where marriage relationships are strong and have a solid foundation in Christ, we usually see “oneness” and the co-commitment aspect that I shared about earlier. Oneness and being committed to each other does not happen overnight or without the help of God. 

Oneness and co-commitment in a relationship requires wholeness. 

“Wholeness” occurs when you have a realistic, appreciative, loving opinion of yourself. In spite of your imperfections, you discern your unconditional human worth. 
This assurance fills you with the ability to have secure connections to others based in the assumption of unconditional human worth – for you and those you have connections with. Again, unconditional love and acceptance are gifts shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Spirit. For the most part, human flesh by itself does not possess the entire capacity for agape love and acceptance. You must know the love of God in order to give it to others. 

Knowing Jesus Christ and experiencing His awesome love makes you whole. 

Love depends, in part, on our ability to own and share our own faults. I believe this is one aspect of what Jesus meant in Luke 7:47 when He said, “The one who is forgiven much, loves much.” 

Love is many things, but I’m going to talk about four things here: 

1) Love is a feeling that you experience; it’s subjective, compelling and overwhelming. 
2) Love is also an attitude – it wants what’s best for the loved one at each moment. 
3) Love is also a concrete decision and commitment that you make every day. Sometimes you “will it” even though it’s difficult at the time. Even though this feels different than an overwhelming, compelling emotion, love is still a planned, calculated commitment to being unashamedly loyal to one person. 
4) Love is a skill that is cultivated. Loving is something we learn to do. Love is an action word. 

Let’s look in 1 Corinthians 13 to describe for us what love looks like in action:

Love endures long, is patient and kind; Love suffereth long and not envious.

Love is not jealous;

Love is not boastful, haughty, or rude; Love does not act unbecomely.

Love is not self-seeking or selfish.

Love is not resentful and doesn’t keep an accounting book of everything done wrong to you.

Love bears up under anything and everything

Love never fails.

You have to practice love to perfect love and that is a decision you make every day. 
God has wisdom and revelation that He wants to download into your heart, your family, and all of your relationships so that His plan can come to pass in your life. The currency of the kingdom of God is relationships! God created and intended marriage and family before we entered the world, so it is no surprise that we look around and find that life is relational. Our life is impacted by those to whom we are connected. We need to get to wholeness in ourselves and in our relationships. 

When our marriage relationship has unity or oneness for the purpose of God, as well as commitment from each spouse to one another, then the foundation for the relationships is strong. Always remember that the person you marry should be able to help carry your purpose and add something special to your reason for being. Finally, marriage is a co-commitment to the purposes of Jesus Christ. When you are practicing and perfecting love for each other day by day, the power of God’s love will be a threefold cord that binds you together in Christ.

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